In the days when I used to be a journalist, I ran a column titled YOUNG & FREE where I wrote some very nasty and not too nasty things. Some of the articles got me into trouble. Others didn't. One thing it did that I know is that it created an impression of who I am to some, that is teh fake me.
Anyway, this is one of such columns that angered so many and brought so many girls calling me. My only regrets of writing it was when a principal from the north called to tell me he was very disappointed. That his school library buys my paper and his students read my column. 'Imagine what you are telling these young girls?'
BECOMING A LESBIAN
Is there a girl out there that has never thought of having a go with her fellow girl? Okay, of course there are some boring geeks like that and I wonder just what they do in their lives that give them a kick. Don’t they know that once in a while they have to catch some excitement?
People keep frowning at talks about gay and people who are gay. I frown also, but only when it involves guys. For the life of me, I cannot understand how a guy and a guy can actually give themselves pleasure, with all the girls around. But lesbianism is different. I understand it to an extent that a girl doesn’t give her entire life to it and going all the way to become a couple with another girl. At that point, deliverance is welcome. But what I am talking about is when out of want of a different kind of pleasure, girls have a go at themselves.
My girlfriend in South Africa called me almost at the end of last week to do some girl talk, and talking about her boyfriend, she said she suspects that everything is not alright with them, that perhaps it was her imagination.
“Sweetheart, that is how problems begin, from your imagination,” I told her.
“Abeg, I don tire for everything,” she said. “In fact right now, now lesbian I wan be.”
I couldn’t hold the laughter. “At your age!” I screamed. “You didn’t do it when you were still schooling here up north, where it is more popular, it is now?”
Anyway, she was serious about it, and after she rung off, I thought about it and why not? That is exactly the answer I have been looking for to all this boring days I seem to be having and missing Krys so badly. All I need is a female lover to blow my mind away.
As a matter of fact, I already did.
This thing between girls is so freaking cool and enjoyable, that you could drown in it. I pity guys who let girls go because the world these days have become such that a girl can actually do without the guy.
If she wants to get down, sex toys are there. Give me a nice vibrator and one of those strip teasers if I won’t forget about Krys.
Making the decision wasn’t so hard because I know it is so easy to get female lovers. I already have one whose affection I refused last year, when we met at a mutual friend’s house.
It happened that she was staying the night like me. I took her interest in me for granted till later at night when three of us had to share the big bed.
Miss Lesbian already took position in the middle of the bed so that one way or the other, she will have either one of us, or both of us.
I was just lying down and still talking with her, our mutual friend fast asleep when she made her move on me. In all my life, I have never been so turned on by a girl.
At first, I thought it was my imagination that she was tracing her fingers lightly through my thighs, and gradually the fingers would move up. When I didn’t feel her touch anymore, I concluded it was my mistake. But when out of the blue her hands went under my nightie, I knew it was no imagination.
Probably because she was unsure of what my reaction would be, she took her time. If she touched, she did it so lightly and stopped, maybe for me to make up my mind if I wanted her to continue or if not, I would just turn away from her.
But I didn’t make up my mind. No, maybe I did because I didn’t stop her. I didn’t turn away. If anything, I readjusted myself so that she could have easy access.
Call me anything, but that was one adventure I had no intention of missing out on. I was intrigued and wanted to find out just how far she could go and how good she was.
Miss Lesbian was good. Believe me. Unlike the usual where both the guy and the girl have to go through all the preliminaries to get turned on, we skipped them, or she did, because it was a one sided show, she giving the pleasure and I receiving. And did that girl know how to get me weak or what? And with just her hands; those magic fingers.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I stopped her by leaving the bed in an excuse to use the loo. On returning, I pushed our mutual friend to the middle and slept on her other side, so that Miss Lesbian couldn’t reach me anymore.
It wasn’t like I was offended. I just didn’t want her to have any illusions that we could do it. Although she is a friend of my friend, she was a stranger to me.
The next morning, she took my phone number saying she would be in touch. I nodded knowingly.
I never thought of her again, till she called me days back just to say hi. I invited her over and the rest is history.
Then I got this mails from readers.
RE- BECOMING A LESBIAN
Hi people, I am taking a break to let you readers write while I respond a little.
If your comment didn’t make my list here, next time. Thanks for being ardent lovers of Young & Free
Hi, I just read your column. Honey, lesbianism is no different from what a guy does with a guy because as you put it, there are guys all over town, why go for girls because you want something real and natural, you want to feel the ecstasy that no woman can ever give you. So dear, likewise with us guys; we are not crazy but adventurous. Please stop speaking badly about us. The world hates us already. Bk
Ok, Bk, I promise to stop saying bad about ‘you’ guys
Quite a risk you are taking writing about lesbianism. You know how society views all gay issues and those who publicly advocate it. I admire your boldness. Sam
How can you be so bold?
Because mister or miss no name, only the bold can succeed in life
Hi, I like you really. Love the way you meander through the difficult terrain you have chosen to write. I like the choice of words and the skips. Keep writing about the absurd. Its another yet unexplored field in our native world. You might hit a jacky of the literals soon. Thumb up for you. Im Bashir
Thanks love. I will definitely hit that jacky.
Uzezi, why be a lesbian when I can take good care of you and give you the real thing not the fake lesbians give with the finger. Please do get in touch and let’s start. Ayo.
And what are we supposed to start, Ayo?
I invited her over and the rest is history … I long suspected you to be a lesbian, Uz; with the way you always pounce on guys. True, as your fan out there, I always knew ‘Sugar Stick’ meant nothing to you until your confession on Becoming A Lesbian. Yes I will call you anything. But those girls out there engaging in lesbianism, educate them that by that way they are still prone to AIDS. No escape route. I will tell you how, that is if you care to know. But if you don’t, I wouldn’t bother much. I still remain your fan. And guess what, a friend just told me that his wife of six years with two issues, has been hiding her true age from him. Why are women lying about their age? UZ, it is about time you tell us why. How old are you? I am Krys, too. But not the one you are missing o … but I still want to know your age. Bye.
Oh Krys, so you suspected me uh? Anyway, I will educate the sistas. About your friend and his wife, wow. I don’t know why people lie. People love hearing lies because truth hurts. How old I am? Are you contesting the fact that I am young as my column suggest?
I’m a lady of sixteen old. My name is Indo. I’m Fulani by tribe residing in the north. It’s just that I read your article. Please I want to become a party to you. I hope you will give me a chance. My sweet lady, I’m a virgin and I hate to interact with guys.
Indo, first of all, I think you are too young to be reading this column. Secondly, God created the man first, for a reason.
Hi Uzezi! Pray you are hale and hearty today. Got a little confused reading through Young and Free of this week. We’re left to imagine what transpired between you and Linda at the end of the previous column. Hope you may not end up confusing us the more next week. Cheers and more ink to your pen. Your fan and admirer.
Dear F&A, I only got into the full gist of what happened, after she called. Don’t be confused.
Hi, Harry is my name, and an ardent reader of the Mirror newspaper. I must tell you your article about ‘Becoming a Lesbian’ is soooooooooooooooooo great and interesting, infact I had to read it over and over again, cos I guess it takes guts and professionalism to actually write stuffs like that in Nigeria. This is cos we are great pretenders in Nigeria and we have also been blinded by parochial tradition. There are so much of your view I share, such as the fact that guys have no reason to indulge in such act, personally I dislike guys that are gays with a passion and can’t even stand there presence, cos I think it is disgusting and sick, but for lesbians I feel and know they have all the reasons in the world in as much as they can still get involved with the opposite sex.
Harry, I had to cut your mail cos I believe the rest of it is between us alone, since you revealed some secret about your friends. Well, I am still expecting to hear from you. And thanks for enjoying what I write. I rock.