Monday, January 19, 2009

I’m Sorry Guys

It’s a new year and I promised a new dawn to my blogging, but I haven’t updated. Shame on me. Just a lot of things tying me down right now. Work and other stuff. I promise to do better blogging once I’m fully settled in the rock city. And I haven’t even moved yet.

What happened to many bloggers who have suddenly disappeared? Well, not so suddenly but gradually rather? And others going private? Please I need all the invites o! I didn’t cause trouble on any blog so please.................... Too many have gone private I can’t even start mentioning them.

There is a new blogger Her Story who left a comment on my last post, I went to her blog and was disturbed. Concerned should be the right word. Please guys, just visit her and let your God given wisdom help you leave good comments that will make her see reasons differently and lean on God. If she found me on blogville, then she found some of you too, but I still don't see anybody's comments there.

And I said in my last post that I was deleting aroundlagos. I fitn’t do it. Don’t ask me why. So it will stay there for now. Will probably take Standtall's advice and rename it to cover the nation.

Okay, I just discovered I am ranting.

By the way, those of you in Nigeria, have you flown Dana Air? I have four times now, and each time, I was impressed. The passenger next to me yesterday from Abuja was flying it for the first time. And read this:

Him: have you flown Dana before? (We hadn’t taken off)
Me: yes.
Him: I’m really impressed.
Me: you flown it before?
Him: no
I laughed.

Him: no. From all I have seen. When I paid, I asked for my money back because I wasn’t sure. And it’s a 6pm flight. I wanted to go for another airline that had a 5.20pm flight, but the guy there convinced me and see, we are leaving early. The 5.20pm passengers for the other airline are still waiting for the plane from Lagos. Dana is early.
I start laughing.
Him: no don’t do this. You are saying they come late too?
Me: not really, but the first time I flew them they were over an hour late. But they are good.

He nodded and I returned to my book as we prepared for takeoff. When the plane was in the air-
Him: wow. Very smooth take off. Did you feel that?
I nodded.
Him: Jesus, I am impressed. Really. Smooth. I don’t mind doing free advert for them. I will tell everyone I know who is travelling, fly Dana.
An air hostess was passing and he called her.
Him: I’m really impressed with your services.

Hostess: (smiling like they teach them to) thank you.
Him pointing at me: I was just telling her I will advertise you guys for free. This is nice.
Hostess seizes the opportunity: you can feel out our form in the seat pocket in front of you.
Him: I will surely do.
Later, they served refreshment. When his pack was dropped, he opened it and went
Him: wow. And their refreshment is a better too.
I opened mine and looked: this is actually smaller snacks then they give.
Him: (amazed) you mean it’s usually more than this? Ha Dana has won.

Later, air hostess comes to ask if we care for tea or coffee.
Him: ha! You mean there is more? This is too much. Complete three course meals. I’m definitely telling everyone.
He finished his meal and filled the form and handed it to an air hostess. ‘They will do well,’ he said. ‘I just hope they leave the fare at N16, 200 for a while.
Me: they will. Because right now, they have competition. Afrijet is 16k, Bellview is 16k, Virgin Nigeria is 15K...
Him: (screaming) what! Virgin is 21k.
I said no that I flew it in the morning 15k and was shocked. Maybe they are doing a promo. (Aloofar should know)

So me too don do free advert for Dana.
To finish this Dana talk, the landing was as smooth and yes my neighbour was impressed.

Did I mention earlier that when we just took off, one disturbed man was making a phone call in the air? All the guys around him plus the one by my side so yelled at him till he cut it off and turned it off in embarrassment. Orie Fokasibe him.

And talking about Orie Fokasibe, LG, you should be proud of me o, I don decode the meaning just for you. Went to buy the whole Yaba market with my friend from SA who is returning soon and left with Orie Fokasibe for anybody that got in our way or anything we didn’t understand. Including taxi getting a flat tire. Orie Fokasibe means your head dey for there. Your head o!

Let me make you not laugh. Last Sunday, I begged my friend and namesake to help me perfect my driving skill. So we went to Ojo military barracks and I started to impress him. He probably forgot I said I had been learning at the prestigious Nigerian school of Motoring where I even bought a text book and while we learn driving four days a week, we do theory one day and the questions are not easy at all. One guy that was graduating was asked. ‘You are on high speed on the highway. Then you see a road block, and the only place you can pass will soon be blocked because on the other side, a blind man and a dog are crossing the road. What will you do?’ guy thought of it a long time and said he will hit the dog. He made us laugh a lot that day. But he was graduated.

Anyway, I parked and Uzezi was lecturing me on cars and all sorts when another learner came. I was in the middle of the road and we told her to take the other side, she did. The next time she came back, I had moved and come to stop by the side and she wanted me to move again, so Uzezi said I should go forward for her. I turned the key, it started, and it stopped. Three times. So Uzezi said I should step on the gas when it starts again, so it wouldn’t go off. I don’t know that style. I’m still a learner. So it started and I stepped on the gas it all the power in me and it went VOOOMMMMMMM then a loud noise and I panicked. He said the fan belt has cut meaning we can’t go home. We opened the bumper and it was two blades of fan that collided with the cone and they all cut. Can you believe that? Learners hit things and drive off the road and all sorts. I blew a whole fan! God, I am good.

And my laptop almost crashed o! I was enjoying my daily dose at Bossip two days ago and clicked on a link to read why Kim Kardasian was too lazy to take off her shoes according to step father. I thought her stepdad Bruce was saying, not knowing step father or step daddy or whatever is a porn site o. Closed it and it started popping up in numbers. Almost gave me a heart attack. If my brother who is into IT had not been home, na another grammar I for dey write o!

See me o, I just wanted to say forgive my not updating and I don do over 1320 words already. Nobody wants a long post on a Monday morning. Good week everyone. I’m surely looking forward to an awesome one. My countdown for Mr. Caveman’s arrival has moved from days to just hours away. Oh Goddddddddddddddddddddd. I’m singing Jill Scott’s ‘Is it The Way You Love Me Baby’ all through.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

A LOT OF THINGS

Happy New Year everyone. Hope you all had amazing celebrations. And that your seat belts are ready for the journey that will take us to the last day of this year. One of the things that occurred to me early this year is that not until 2012 will we have February 29. So we are a day short this year. Let’s do all we can do to make up for more than that one day.

Okay, on to my post for today.
I have two blogs as some of you know. This one, and aroundlagos (see it on the sidebar). I love aroundlagos a lot, but somehow, I let it rot away without updating it. I have decided to put it down, so I won’t have to say (it was so much easier when I had one, like Solomonsydelle. But seriously SS, do you mean the blogs or the kids? Blogs and kids are more than one for you).

Another lazy reason for dropping aroundlagos is the fact that my location has changed. For some months now, I have been commuting Lagos-Abeokuta, my new base because of work. In a week time, I would have moved fully to Abeokuta for another chapter in the book called Uzezi: from dawn till date.

Anyway, I couldn’t come up with a name that will capture both Lagos and Abeokuta, so it’s bye to that blog. If you follow that blog please jump ship. Everything I have to say about me or Lagos or Abeokuta or whatever, I will say here. And there are lots to say about Abeokuta.

Lagos is a Yoruba state, just like Ogun state. Here in Lagos, I can get away with not knowing how to speak the language regardless of the fact that I was born here and all my life has been here. But my new job entails that I work with communities in both urban and rural areas. There is no way I shouldn’t speak the language.

Imagine my organization was going to have a meeting with community heads, and I was in charge of that. God loved me so much that He made my boss available on the meeting day. And every single discussion in that meeting was in Yoruba. I just positioned myself at the door welcoming people. And I was called to introduce myself. I started and one elder went ‘speak Yoruba’.

Hey Oluwa. Anyway, I’m learning, which is exactly what I told them.

And I am serious about learning o, I already bought a Yoruba dictionary to show my seriousness. I am soon shopping for Yoruba home videos that are not subtitled. I will conquer the language in Jesus name.

(Don’t wonder how come I don’t speak the language after all these years in Lagos o. I was born in Ajegunle. And in the compound I grew up, the only neighbour we had were Isoko like us. The houses around us had Ijaw, Kwale, Hausa, Urhobo, Ibo and Isoko people. I remember only one Yoruba family. And then, it was easier to learn Isoko on my street than any other language. And there is school where you DARE not speak vernacular.
So off to Satellite Town we moved, where everyone minded their businesses in fenced houses and spoke the Queen’s English. And off to boarding schools in Delta and Cross-River-State. So Yoruba and I were constantly kept asunder, not knowing I will have to unite with the language one day forever).

But I’m getting there. God bless the dictionary and the Yoruba songs in church and Gbemisoke gospel blues. I am determined you see, if my last name will change from Isoko to Yoruba. Although that isn’t a condition. He speaks more Hausa than Yoruba anyway.

So if you know Abeokuta every well, tell me the must visit places. My very first day there I discovered Iya Sunday; most popular buka. And the meals are more expensive than fast food joints.

Did I say my Caveman is arriving soon from Gambia? I’m so excited the countdown has begun. If he forgets my blender and artwork, he is going back. Okay, I’m off shopping.