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Monday, January 19, 2009

I’m Sorry Guys

It’s a new year and I promised a new dawn to my blogging, but I haven’t updated. Shame on me. Just a lot of things tying me down right now. Work and other stuff. I promise to do better blogging once I’m fully settled in the rock city. And I haven’t even moved yet.

What happened to many bloggers who have suddenly disappeared? Well, not so suddenly but gradually rather? And others going private? Please I need all the invites o! I didn’t cause trouble on any blog so please.................... Too many have gone private I can’t even start mentioning them.

There is a new blogger Her Story who left a comment on my last post, I went to her blog and was disturbed. Concerned should be the right word. Please guys, just visit her and let your God given wisdom help you leave good comments that will make her see reasons differently and lean on God. If she found me on blogville, then she found some of you too, but I still don't see anybody's comments there.

And I said in my last post that I was deleting aroundlagos. I fitn’t do it. Don’t ask me why. So it will stay there for now. Will probably take Standtall's advice and rename it to cover the nation.

Okay, I just discovered I am ranting.

By the way, those of you in Nigeria, have you flown Dana Air? I have four times now, and each time, I was impressed. The passenger next to me yesterday from Abuja was flying it for the first time. And read this:

Him: have you flown Dana before? (We hadn’t taken off)
Me: yes.
Him: I’m really impressed.
Me: you flown it before?
Him: no
I laughed.

Him: no. From all I have seen. When I paid, I asked for my money back because I wasn’t sure. And it’s a 6pm flight. I wanted to go for another airline that had a 5.20pm flight, but the guy there convinced me and see, we are leaving early. The 5.20pm passengers for the other airline are still waiting for the plane from Lagos. Dana is early.
I start laughing.
Him: no don’t do this. You are saying they come late too?
Me: not really, but the first time I flew them they were over an hour late. But they are good.

He nodded and I returned to my book as we prepared for takeoff. When the plane was in the air-
Him: wow. Very smooth take off. Did you feel that?
I nodded.
Him: Jesus, I am impressed. Really. Smooth. I don’t mind doing free advert for them. I will tell everyone I know who is travelling, fly Dana.
An air hostess was passing and he called her.
Him: I’m really impressed with your services.

Hostess: (smiling like they teach them to) thank you.
Him pointing at me: I was just telling her I will advertise you guys for free. This is nice.
Hostess seizes the opportunity: you can feel out our form in the seat pocket in front of you.
Him: I will surely do.
Later, they served refreshment. When his pack was dropped, he opened it and went
Him: wow. And their refreshment is a better too.
I opened mine and looked: this is actually smaller snacks then they give.
Him: (amazed) you mean it’s usually more than this? Ha Dana has won.

Later, air hostess comes to ask if we care for tea or coffee.
Him: ha! You mean there is more? This is too much. Complete three course meals. I’m definitely telling everyone.
He finished his meal and filled the form and handed it to an air hostess. ‘They will do well,’ he said. ‘I just hope they leave the fare at N16, 200 for a while.
Me: they will. Because right now, they have competition. Afrijet is 16k, Bellview is 16k, Virgin Nigeria is 15K...
Him: (screaming) what! Virgin is 21k.
I said no that I flew it in the morning 15k and was shocked. Maybe they are doing a promo. (Aloofar should know)

So me too don do free advert for Dana.
To finish this Dana talk, the landing was as smooth and yes my neighbour was impressed.

Did I mention earlier that when we just took off, one disturbed man was making a phone call in the air? All the guys around him plus the one by my side so yelled at him till he cut it off and turned it off in embarrassment. Orie Fokasibe him.

And talking about Orie Fokasibe, LG, you should be proud of me o, I don decode the meaning just for you. Went to buy the whole Yaba market with my friend from SA who is returning soon and left with Orie Fokasibe for anybody that got in our way or anything we didn’t understand. Including taxi getting a flat tire. Orie Fokasibe means your head dey for there. Your head o!

Let me make you not laugh. Last Sunday, I begged my friend and namesake to help me perfect my driving skill. So we went to Ojo military barracks and I started to impress him. He probably forgot I said I had been learning at the prestigious Nigerian school of Motoring where I even bought a text book and while we learn driving four days a week, we do theory one day and the questions are not easy at all. One guy that was graduating was asked. ‘You are on high speed on the highway. Then you see a road block, and the only place you can pass will soon be blocked because on the other side, a blind man and a dog are crossing the road. What will you do?’ guy thought of it a long time and said he will hit the dog. He made us laugh a lot that day. But he was graduated.

Anyway, I parked and Uzezi was lecturing me on cars and all sorts when another learner came. I was in the middle of the road and we told her to take the other side, she did. The next time she came back, I had moved and come to stop by the side and she wanted me to move again, so Uzezi said I should go forward for her. I turned the key, it started, and it stopped. Three times. So Uzezi said I should step on the gas when it starts again, so it wouldn’t go off. I don’t know that style. I’m still a learner. So it started and I stepped on the gas it all the power in me and it went VOOOMMMMMMM then a loud noise and I panicked. He said the fan belt has cut meaning we can’t go home. We opened the bumper and it was two blades of fan that collided with the cone and they all cut. Can you believe that? Learners hit things and drive off the road and all sorts. I blew a whole fan! God, I am good.

And my laptop almost crashed o! I was enjoying my daily dose at Bossip two days ago and clicked on a link to read why Kim Kardasian was too lazy to take off her shoes according to step father. I thought her stepdad Bruce was saying, not knowing step father or step daddy or whatever is a porn site o. Closed it and it started popping up in numbers. Almost gave me a heart attack. If my brother who is into IT had not been home, na another grammar I for dey write o!

See me o, I just wanted to say forgive my not updating and I don do over 1320 words already. Nobody wants a long post on a Monday morning. Good week everyone. I’m surely looking forward to an awesome one. My countdown for Mr. Caveman’s arrival has moved from days to just hours away. Oh Goddddddddddddddddddddd. I’m singing Jill Scott’s ‘Is it The Way You Love Me Baby’ all through.


  1. yesssssssssso ori uzezi fokasibe' norrin do at all :-

  2. this post is so random and long i have completely forgotten what i wanted to say..kai

    yes Dana planes...pls is this another stream of business for Dana plastic, Dana spaghetti etc???

    lol re your driving

  3. U r good; u destroyed the fan belt.

    D guy must have been impressed with DANA air.
    Will try them sometime.

    Hope u r good?

  4. Wow Uzezi, just leaving that blog and it's left me speechless! I won't judge...
    So you now know what oriefokasibe means...LG has gained a protegee..lol

    I haven't flown Dana, might try it on your recommendation, my husband and i only do Virgin and the last time we tried Arik, we sincerely regretted it! We were going to lagos for Christmas and for a flight that was supposed to be 7:30, we got to the Lagos airport at about 11 pm and left at midnight waiting for luggage, Christmas day meet us for airport o, terrible experience!

    International driver! You dey try o!

    How far with your Yoruba learning?

  5. lol @ dt guy on the plane. Isnt good service part of their job requirements? but its interesting to know sha, cos most naija airlines dnt give good service.

  6. seems naija aviation system is getting better......lol @ d dude sha, probably he lives abroad and expected d worst........
    for u to blw a fan belt, means ur really good.........lol
    but wait o, ur driving sch sounds complicated...........text book? hard theory questions? all to drive: r we talking manual or auto?
    have a great week

  7. @ aloted- dont mind me. forgive the randomness. yes Dana Air is from the Dana Group of companies. Kia Motors, Dana Rice, plastic food etc.

    @ OluwaDee - im a good driver o. Try Dana u will be impressed. Im good. thanks

    @ Writefreak- orie, writefreak. lol. Dana must pay me for this free ad o. I always love Aero, always ontime. that must have been a bad day for Arik, but Im sure Dana is here to compete. too bad its not a nigerian company. my yoruba is improving o

    @ Toluwa- good service too yes. dem dey try.

    @ Funms- yes o my dear. Arik just joined the nigerian airlines doing international flights. we should all be patrotic. the driving school is fun o. on the very first day, u learn with a built car that has all the parts, in a class, from the 2nd day you start driving. and its manual o. who will go through all that trouble to learn automatic?

  8. i was laughing so hard at ur airplane neighbour. lmao. oh my gosh, i can almost envisage d expression of wonder & amazement on his face!!!!!! never flown Dana Air. Am an Aero customer. But, maybe i'll try t out

    how u dey? pele wit d work, & moving

  9. u still visit bossip? i guess u havent learnt from solomonsydelle's experience!

  10. Did you ever tell us how you met Caveman, Uzezi? If not, I'd love to know!

    That seatmate on the plane made me laugh! He almost sounds like he was planted there by Dana to praise them...I love it sha.

  11. i read Her Story, & i couldn't believe my ears. seriously, am speechless. it's her children i feel 4. her daughter, if she has one, has will live wit d consequences of her errors


  13. @ FFF- thanks dear

    @ bumight- no mind me o. i never will again

    @ Good Naija Girl- lol. i will give the gist very very soon on how caveman and i met.

  14. @ FFF- very sad. i really pray for God's intervention

    @ miz-cynic- 32k, but i think its cheaper if you book online

  15. omg so I went to the Her Story blog and I feel...in fact I don't even know what I feel...I mean what she's doing is wrong but at the same time I feel bad for her :(

    Oh and as for you and your promised updates don't worry it happens to the best of us...

    Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

  16. lol...so u decoded the Ori slang..ok, where is LG..I also know it now...
    wow, when I left naije flights to abuja were 8k.....inflation..

  17. 'Learners hit things and drive off the road and all sorts. I blew a whole fan! God, I am good.'- LOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!

    drive on sista! nice blog

  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. wow zayzee... you have jabez's prayer at the top of your page...quality!!!

    love your post...felt like i was listening to one of my girl's jist

    happy monday

  20. @ Lolia-yes. i really couldn't say anything myself.

    lol @ for you and your promised updates don't worry it happens to the best of us...

    my weekend was good thanks

    @ Afrobabe- flights went from 8 to 9 to 10. right now, its actually going down.

    @ The poets voice- lol. thanks.

    @ Shubby Doo- that jabez prayer as short as it is, is powerful. dont let me go into it now.

    @ darkelcee - ori darkelcee fokasibe

  21. Wow I have not been here in a long second...looking good around here ma'am...Yeah I noticed the blogville landscape...I guess people have gotten too busy for blogville...

    Dana eh? I will definitely try it...as I always say...good service is an advert itself...

  22. LOL@your flight neighbour..

    Just went to the blog you mentioned and had a quick glance..will go and read properly later

    Nice post..just laughhed through most of it...you gisted us well well xx

  23. This was long. From free advert to laptop crashing. Update more frequently o!

  24. Hmmm... Dana Air abi? When our chiefo wan go Abuja go do meetin with dem Aso Rock ppl, i go recommend dem. The guy go rspect me more! thank u jare!

    U go blow fan??? How now!!! I thot sometin was gonna go down with d chic; instead u cut d fan!!! na wa 4 u o!

  25. 'I'm sorry' sounds funny here. Left to me, you're doing pretty good. The charm still exists and i enjoy every bit of your posts. Enjoy abeg. You get mouth. So now that you've done a free promo for Dana, how about arrannging for them to give you a next flight free. It sure worths it, doesn't it? Ori e fokasibe? I'm still soooo confused about whatever that means. Sad to say, you got me more confused. lol. Have a beautiful week.

  26. @ Chari- u've been busy in love chari so i forgive you.

    @ Jarrai-lol. me i said it as it is o

    @ In my head- hello. longest of all time. i wil try i promise

    @ FineBoy Agbero- and u make a debut to zayzee. i must pay be that. lol

    @ Geebee- looking back, the im sorry can be for the very long post, though i titled it before writing it. i will try and get a free ticket o. Dana had better give me. wetin dey confuse you for orie fokasibe?

  27. you this babe, did you not read my post on Bossip? You self carry leg go there and you dey click on links self!


  28. Thnx for stoppin by.i really appreciate it.
    you can check out my other blog:

    God bless!.

  29. @ SS- dont mind me o. na gist i dey hungry for o. even now sef i am tempted but know i wouldnt again again

    @The Poet Voice- thanks. i will

  30. LOL @ your plane neighbor. Na wa o...the guy was obviously very wowed. I've never heard of Dana air..will ask my mom if she knows of it.

    And which kind of dodoyo makes a call in the air? Na wa o!

    Meanwoos, extra LOLs at the pornsite. Na why I no too like all those links redirecting me to other sites. Imagine if that kain thing happen for work.

  31. am dizzy!!!

    readin thru all dat text, kai!!!

  32. The caveman talk just cracks me up? mental note' stay away when zezi is on the wheels'

  33. @ Original Mgbeke- i dont know o, he wanted to crash his head

    @ teebay- im sorryyyyyyyyy

    @ Telekinesys- lol. ask him why i call him that. stay away ke? im so giving u a ride in my car Mr.

  34. You write well!!! Your stories got me laughing :-).Thanks for stopping by.

    And yeah, Jill Rocks!!!

  35. are you sure dana air has not given you free ticket, ms fan-belt destroyer?

  36. lol! Zay-Zee, u are just amazing...lol

    ori e fokasibe has a deeper, dirtier meaning than the one u highlighted o! someone told me recently. literally, it means "ur head is scattered there" (not ur own o), but the deeper meaning thou shalt not hear from me...

    Caveman should def be here by now, have fun babe, i'm soooo envious...lol

  37. I'll check the blog out...

    Lol that dude sounds quite, uh, overenthusiastic!

    U r yet another person that has heightened my fear of driving..

    How r u anywayz?

  38. @ teebay- thanks

    @ SimpleeMe- yeah.

    @ Jinta- for where. hopefully e advert will bring the ticket

    @ Smaragd- seriously! ha Orie

    @ Buttercup- please go n drive o. no fear at all. im fine o

  39. Uzezi.........That link tore my heart apart!

  40. Ok my heart froze when you said someone was on their cell phone when you had already taken off! WTH!!! Flying already freaks me out, expecially on Nigerian planes!!
    Anyhoo, off to check that blog you talked about. Meanwhile, have fun with caveman!!! can't wait to read about your escapades!

  41. ohhhh..mr caveman has hindered u from updating, abi?

    ok, its all good..greet him for us o!

  42. Yea virgin is doing valentine propmo. Thanx 4 telling me what the fokasibe means. LOL

  43. Now I’m wondering if ‘I’m sorry’ actually meant you’d be away for another long spell. How’s Abeokuta treating you?

  44. Wow! ....was this a multiple birth (oops, post)?

    Didn't realise i had also gone private.

  45. You should get paid for that advert for Dana Air o abi na for there u dey work, oya confess,lol...

  46. at least someone let you drive her car.at home,nobody wants to handover their car keys to me.they are so faithless.how u dey?

  47. The beauty in your post was the randomness of it. One jist flowing into another. You write well.

    First time here! Hope you update soon.

    I haven't read through much of "Her Story" but her profile already says a lot. I'm going back there right now.

  48. hey hun...update jo!!

    i have come out or hiding but have changed url and name, swing by when u can

    Jarrai-gambian girl