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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

And The Lie Is?

Despite the fact that I really don’t like this tag thing, I think this is one of my most enjoyable post because of the comments. I liked the guesses made and the reasons given why some answers were favoured as the lie.
I honestly wish I could withhold the suspense of revealing the truths and the lie, but strangely, even me, Uzezi, is waiting for this post. I think I must be going crazy.

Okay, no more long story, let’s get down to business.

My Caveman is a blogger.

We have some investigative reporters in blogville who know how to research this and find out if it’s true or false. And there is a particular blogger who knows himself, and knows this answer to the very bottom because he always suspected. Finally, his curiosity was satisfied when we minus me visited his office. Do you know what it means for a guy to tell you that your Caveman is a cool dude? I talk too much.

Number one is very very true. And I’m on a mission to stop him from blogging, and I really don’t know why I’m doing that.

I have two mothers. This one is very easy now, blogville. Naturally this is the perfect lie. Nobody has two mothers. Except Uzezi that is.
Number two is very very true. I have two mothers. I will leave the explanation for my next post.

Now you know the lie.
Subconsciously, I must have made some bloggers, who must have seen my latest comment on Writefreak’s thankful Wednesday post, think that I actually am a mother. I saw Writefreak reply my comment and ask if I had a 13 year old? I laughed like crazy. Then I scrolled up to read the comment I left, and instead of saying my 13 year old sister, I said my 13 year old. Lol. Imagine making such a mistake just when I have a lie I need people to figure out. So it was only natural for Writefreak to guess this as true.

I do not have a 13 year old, neither do I have a 7 year old. I do wish I had though, I tell you. My sister who turns 13 in April looks so much like me that had I had a child as a teenager, she would have been perfect.
And I have a 7 year old sister who looks like me too. I call her my baby. Actually, in the early days of Caveman and I, I told him she was my kid. He was sold. He believed. God, how I enjoyed that trick. He threw questions that I answered calmly. What made it so believable for him was that he was surprised I had a sister that young. Why didn’t you marry her father? He asked. God. Remembering that play is cracking me up.

Number three is my perfect lie. Though a lot of you wanted me to be a mother, worry not. God will answer the prayers at the right time.

PS: Every blogger is forbidden from missing my next post. Till Then I remain

your's sincerely.



  1. in that case, zayzee, i am camped here looking forward to your next post.

    i suppose i'm meant to shout 'firssssssttttttt!!!!!'

  2. ooooooooooo, Jinta, what's ur own? mchew!

  3. what's my gift? cuz i guessed right! and of course it's possible to have two mothers...lol

    I always wish i had a baby in my teens as well! it's crazy but true.

  4. @ Jinta- yes scream first.

    @ Smaragd- at least im not alone there. of course family would have screamed and all, but once the baby arrives all is forgotten and years later when u introduce ur daughter, people look from u to her. 'are you serious?'

    guess we should marry earlier then

  5. @ Jinta- yes scream first.

    @ Smaragd- at least im not alone there. of course family would have screamed and all, but once the baby arrives all is forgotten and years later when u introduce ur daughter, people look from u to her. 'are you serious?'

    guess we should marry earlier then

  6. uhmmmmm I like this. Since I am the biggest amebo ever, I am just going to sit here and wait until your next post.

  7. And I thought this would be the exception where I would get one right....dannnn...ok, so who is the blogger...let me help u beg him off...truely, thats the only reason i want to know......

  8. lol!! i was soo sold out on ur lie! had it for a truth cos i thot it was too obvious a lie.. i guess i shud probably always take the obvious for what it is..lol

  9. i got in so wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh...i am suspecting a certain blogger as cave man. Infact i think i may be right!!!!!!!!!!!

    uzezi spill the beans :)

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. u see, i know you! where's the reward for guessing right?

  12. @ Temite- lol. that is really the amebo style

    @ Afrobabe- sorry. Im sure there are other opportunities.

    and u r so not serious Afro. you really want to help me chase him off blogging, else there is no reason who would want to know him. lol.

    @ zara- hehehehehehehehehe. that's me laughing hard. I tried sha

    @ wordmerchant- yes u did. but good try. don't suspect anything o. infact, I forbid 'YOU' to suspect a certain blogger. How can i spill the beans? I have eaten eat

    @ bumight- u really know me i swear. so send the address so i can use DHL

  13. AHhh I know who the caveman is too!!!!,...lolz!!! I have investigated! Bribe me ooo!!!

    I am going to be first on the next post!

  14. Yay I was right!!!

    I instinctively knew that Caveman was a blogger... I don't even know why... Maybe your reticence about giving details. :)... And I think I might have come across his blog... (talking about how he moved to The Gambia... :))

    I even guesse the 7-yr old sister right.... I am good people, I am good. Lol!

    Can't wait for the next post about the two mothers. Should be lovely.

  15. Can u hurry up and write the next post? and do i get a gift for being right?

  16. Haba Uzezi! You for give us small extra time before answering now. And I would have got it right! lol!

    I'll be watching for your next post!

  17. Hmm. So I was wrong, so who is caveman? I’d luv to read his blog. I haven’t gotten around to posting in the diary, as soon as I do, u’l get the first invite. LOL

  18. Ok, off to read every male blogger I have ever come across...the trick is to find who moved to gambia....

    Inspector Afro!!!!

  19. I think I myt know who moved to Gambia.lol.
    Waiting for ur new gist...

  20. You this cavewoman! You led me on! you really got me there! I thought wow, so how old will she be? bla bla...you got me good! And i'll make you pay...dunno how yet..lol

    Hope you're doing great!

  21. I loved it when my brother was young enough to believe everything I told him. It was sooo much fun. He even used to be like my doll... I would pretend he was my sister and dress him up and put a wig on him. If course my parents were horrified when they found out!

  22. @ Ms.O- u r bribed okay. lol

    @ Ms Sula- lol. u r good people alright.

    @ Funms-the rebirth- gift ke? okay i will let you in on a secret. bring ur ear close to my lips

    @ Enkay- no mind me. I was having a ball at the answers and just couldn't hold back from answering. of course you would have gotten it right. lol

    @ doll- good on the diary blog. cant wait for it

    @ Afrobabe- lol. take it easy o Inspector Afro!!!!

    @ Woomie O!- how do u know? and who said anything about anyone moving anyway?

    @ Writefreak- lol. lol. lol. I knew u would fall for that. but i can have a 13 year old at my age now. seriously

    @ Naijalines- hehehe. u knew

    @ Nollywood Forever- r u serious? ur kid brother as your baby doll? i want to read on such an episode, please do a post

  23. I think i should spill uzezi's eaten beans before she does since i live in Gambia, i know her caveman, actually saw him at the club last night, Uzezi ask him to confess his sins before i kobalize him.

  24. @ sprezatura- like my friend used to say in school when she dares your courage, 'beans?'

  25. @ Telekinesys- u r cave buddy too. i hope u know. after all a friend of a caveman is also a caveman.

  26. No wahala sha!
    But I hope your next post explains the truth in this meme

  27. things are happening on blogville o! chei!

  28. LOL! Interesting read. A caveman? LOOOOOL! I reserve my comments! Thanks for stopping by mine!

  29. @ Severus Snape- next post sure will

    @ AlooFar- aloofar?

    @ doug- lol. u r welcome

  30. The much awaited revelation – Now, you got me there on the ‘7 year old daughter thing.’ I guess the fact that I have a daughter makes it so easy for me to believe everyone else has a kid somewhere. lol. May God grant your wish soon o, my sista and may you have a dozen children like the fruitful women of the bible (Say Amen). Meanwhile, I totally disagree with No. 2 being true. You cannot have two mothers. How do you explain that one? Ok I’ll wait but right now, I put it to you that your post was 1 truth, 2 lies . . . I’m patiently waiting for the next post o.

  31. @ QMoney- right away.

    @ Geebee- amen to ur prayer minus a dozen kids. lol

  32. Okay. I did not partake in part one of this. Well, I can guess how you can have 2 mothers

  33. LOL

    You sabi lie so well its scary.

    I wonder what else you might have lied about?

  34. awwwwwwwww u've started calling urself Cavewoman..sweet!

    damn, i missed the tag..wow he's a blogger..i can just imagine everyone dying of curiosity(myself included) bout who he might be!

    i wudnt dream of missing ur next post!

  35. Uhmm.. intrigued by what your next post will reveal. I think it's one of two possibilities, you have an adopted and a biological mother or you have a surrogate and the mother that raised you. Still, I'm watching this space.

  36. @ StandTall- sure. its so easy to guess

    @ Afronuts- i no sabi lie o. at all at all

    @ Buttercup- dont start dying of curiosity o

    @ In my head and around me- yes o. sent u a gift for being right. didnt u get it?

    @ Ayodele Alofe- u get mouth o. u r on the spot

  37. hey...cavewoman..u write. talk smooth..dig ur style////peace

  38. @ simeone- peace too. thanks

    @ Olamild- hmmmm?