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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Formula Four Driver

I have become the most unfaithful blogger, I know. But trusting the family I have here, I am confident of being forgiven, else you won’t be reading this post. Abi?

I sure missed everyone and the style of writing that set each blogger’s post apart from the other. I can’t categorically say that I am back fully to blogging, due to my schedule at work, and a small writing contract I just picked up, and the loads of books waiting to be read, but I’ll do my best.

Okay, let’s get to my latest gist.

One Sunday in church at the car park, my friend had just parked when a Starguard (unit in charge of traffic in church) guy told a woman to park properly, so other cars could be parked. She quickly let down the window and told the guy she wasn’t a formula four driver.

That same day, I got a past message from church and in that sermon there was something about the difference between men and women when they drive, and how a woman would make a three point turn where a man would make just one. And men will be complaining about that. In a nutshell, don’t try to make someone into yourself. People are different. Don’t try to make me into the expert I am yet to become, because I am just a beginner.

This girl here is gradually becoming an Abeokuta chic and I don’t know if I like that at all. Imagine me looking forward to my weekends in Lagos, then weekend comes and just a day in Lagos I can’t wait to get back to Rock City. One major factor for that change is the fear of Okada and containers. And what I feel I might turn into if I don’t flee Lagos and the roads.

The only time I dared to drive outside in Lagos, I bashed my car. I never bash anything for Rock City o, na only ditch I don fall inside, and motor no get scratch o. Common small bash give me scratch. And that scratch turned me into a fine car sadist (excuse the word). Yes. Before, I used to admire fine cars that are obviously new. Now what I do when I see them is look at the body carefully for a scratch. And seeing one just makes my day; a confirmation that we in the club are much.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t make driving in Rock City for a learner any easier. The hills in this town are killing. The sharp bends, corners and alarming slopes on my way, makes Lagos roads a welcome paradise. What’s more, too many people are moving down to Rock City and congesting the roads for me. I love Lagos, but can we leave Lagos and the cars in Lagos so I can drive properly?

Accepted that I no longer am blowing off fan belts just to move a car; my heart still races when I have to go from gear 2 to 3 (I’ve made the mistake of moving from two to five before), after that, I can take you on a ride provided no check points or junctions to stop me sha, especially on a hill, else to move forward again, na back car dey roll go.

I know I will get there. After all, my friend drives a manual and she even travels from Lagos to Asaba, driving herself, and she moves smooth. She no get two heads. Yes, whenever I am about to give up and tell the driver to take over, all I need do, is remind myself of C, and how perfect she is with a manual car, and I get uplifted. And soon enough, while I’m chancing tankers and containers on Lagos roads, I’ll try not to pick up the language of most Lagos drivers.

So, if any of you need a formula four (or is it five) driver, I’ll deliver you safe and sound. My rates are considerate.

All that said, I’m looking for recipes people. I’m trying to acquire the
characteristics of the Calabar woman in the kitchen. Anyone you have please; no matter how simple, don’t assume I know it, just drop it for me. And does anyone know how to prepare any meal with very little of no oil at all? Recipes please.

You all have a blessed week. And did I say my Caveman had to remind me over a month ago that we were a year old? Hmm! A year! No wonder my knees don’t go weak anymore, and all the butterflies in my stomach have died out of hunger for rush.


  1. Welcome back love..

    lol @ the butterflies in ur belle dying of hunger...
    I was always to scared to drive in lag, hope I can when I come back home...abeokuta woman already?? How can you like that quiet town that much??

  2. LOL @ butterflies dying.. Guess its the stage where the longer lastinng pragmatic side of love comes to the fore!

  3. 1st, welcome back!

    2nd, LWKM! This remminds me of when i first started driving and before long, i had mastered d language of Lagos roads, i.e cursing everybody out, i even started chancing bus drivers sef. Don't worry, u will get there, just dont do like someborri and run out of the car in d middle of d road!

  4. I am so glad to know that i am not the only one having driving issues. The thing is I used to drive a stick shift in lag but now I have to drive an automatic. You can imagine everyone thinks it is weird that I am afraid of driving automatic but seriously I am. I can't wrap my mind around using just one leg to drive and not changing gears as I drive. Plus the fact that I am in a different city does not help matters.

    lol @ car sadist.

  5. Lol @ formula five...
    As 4 the recipes,check out ediets.com/recipes/video for step 2 step oil-free/healthy recipes.

  6. @ Sting- thanks

    @ Afrobabe- thanks. one way or the other we just have to master Lagos road o. and no, not yet abeokuta woman. it isn't so quiet o. ask anyone of Panseke which I have to stomach everyday. The trick is to get accomodation in the calm side away from the madness i see each day

    @ Danny BaGucci- that should be it

    @ mizchif- thanks. what does LWKM mean? I will try and do without the language. lol @ running out of the car in the middle of the road

    @ Tairebabs - this ur pix is killing me sha! I get what u r saying. I even wonder if I can drive an auto. can't wait to master the gears so effectively without making any mistakes.

    @ My World- thanks. I will check right away.

  7. Formula 6 driver!
    Too much!

    How is the Rock city? how OGD?
    and congrats on your one year with caveman!

  8. hey u! how far?

    one of ur star sth unit annoyed me yesterday ehn! I was forced to tell her to change to another unit.

    i am worse than u,cuz it's by mouth i have been learning how to drive since..lol.

    u'll be fine jo, Michael Schumacher's got nothing on u.

    Abeokuta is an awesome place FOR a weekend, anything els, nah mehn, I fitn't!

    Caveman had to remind u? u this girl sef. please revive the butterflies o.

    Happy anniversary.

  9. @ Olufunke- yes o! I Too Much! Rock City is rocking. Thanks

    @ Smaragd- lol. pele o! u can come let me help u bridle ur tongue. as per the anniversary, it's not like I forgot o, I remembered a week before and days before, I think, then work scattered my head. Thanks o! hope u r fine

  10. lol @ can we leave Lagos and the cars in Lagos so I can drive properly? funny u mention recipes, I am also looking for recipes, so tired of eating the same things. Anywho, happy 1year anniversary. Hope besides the hilly roads, rock city is treating you well well.

  11. Welcome back ZayZee.
    Drive safely.

  12. @ Omo Oba- yes na. let me at least enjoy the roads and the car. Rock City is trying.

    @ O'Dee- this pix is fine o. your company must have gone global. Thanks

  13. Lol, the butterflies are dead?!

    Congrats, time does fly you know.

  14. @ THIRTY+ - thanks lots

    @ Olamild - how far? been trying to open ur site forvere without success.

  15. @ THIRTY+ - thanks lots

    @ Olamild - how far? been trying to open ur site forvere without success.

  16. Oh Oh! Hope you are enjoying the rock city though. Abeokuta is a nice city.lol.

  17. @ Today's ranting- im doing my best. Although no city will steal my love for Lagos, I admit the coolness of this place.

  18. Welcome back!! it's been while..
    how are you doing?

    Lol @ butterflies dying in your stomach and falling in a ditch!

    Driving is a skill that has to be learnt and it takes time and practice and eventually you'll be good at it.

    Happy Anniversary!!.x

  19. @ The poets voice - thanks. im fine. cant wait to get used to driving o. i need my feet and my brain to connect real fast.

  20. Ha easy with the new car o! lol

    Butterflies dying...i guess now you're at the stage in your relationship where your head takes over...

  21. lol..i thought it was 'formula one'??

    all the best with the driving o..u r not encouraging me at all..lol..

    why do the butterflies have to die, ehn???

  22. Hmmm. Nice one o. Anyone who can drive in Lagos can definitely drive anywhere as far as I'm concerned. Drive safely though . . . Yes indeedy, you have become the most unfaithful blogger. lol

  23. lol! formula 4 driver, eh?

    Good to read an update and take it easy oh!

  24. driving in lagos sucks

    ive seen the pictures (im such a yuppie thinking i know everything)

    at least you can support the poor vendors trying to make a living

  25. @ Writefreak- i don dey get the gears now. u r right about y the butterflies have died.

    @ Buttercup - i no sabbi formula anything o.
    ha, be encouraged o! the butterflies die so your head can take over. that is what writefreak said na

    @ Geebee - aha. there is the word. unfaithful blogger.

    @ SOLOMONSYDELLE- no laugh me o. i no sabi michael shoemaker sport

    @ James Tubman- me thinks driving in abeokuta beats lagos sha because of the hills.

  26. I totally understand you, 'cos weird as it sounds I don't drive, never have... you'll survive!

  27. Lol @ dead butterflies..
    In just one year?? I thought they lasted at least a decade..

    Sounds like you're enjoying Rockcity..

    If I ever see a woman peering out a window, looking oddly for scratches on my car.. I'll know who it is then..

  28. If you love Caveman, don't let him know you dont feel the butterflies in your belly or that your knees don't knock.
    I think its pretty normal.
    The high is not permanent... it resurrects once in a while.

  29. @ Recky- I will survive o

    @ RocNaija - decades ke? then i must examine myself. aha, it seems like u have scratches on your car

    @ tobenna - aha. good advice.

  30. So i see lots of good things have happened to u dearest and i am so happy for you..you've had a boyfriend for a year now and u work at Abeokuta where you are still learning to drive your new car...that was a summary...glad you are okay love.

  31. u fell into a ditch? wow. take am easy oh

  32. Nice blog. First time here. Holla