Hello, Has writing a book about your journey through life (an autobiography) or the business world crossed your mind but you cannot find the right words or the time to dedicate to writing? My name is Uzezi and I love to write and put life into the words of others, as I express their thoughts and ideas in their voice . Get Editing and Publishing Services Here Get One-On-One guidance to Write Your Book yourself in 30 Days Here Get Book Designers, Graphics Work, Illustrators Here Print Your Book Here Beyond the words of my clients, I research other details related to them or their work and if necessary, add such to enrich whatever work I have been commissioned to do. I would love to offer my services to you as a ghostwriter... Telling your experience in the industry you find yourself and all that you have learnt; the dos and the don’ts or a ‘How To’ book Challenging life events Addressing whatever misconceptions people have about you And others… Book a consultation
My boss forwarded this mail to me, it is so funny and at the same time correct that I decided to share. Enjoy.
MARRIAGE SOFTWARE
This is what a guy wrote to a systems analyst (Marriage Software Division):
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialisation and then it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Girls 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. attempting to operate selected "Saturday Rugby 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?
.... AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program.
Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT
PROGRAM.
Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating out without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly
CRASH.
Thank you.
System Analyst
Regards,
--