In My Head........

What do I understand and what don’t I understand? Recently I find myself asking this question over and over again. I listened to a sermon in church today titled ‘Holy Spirit my helper’. I understood what the pastor was saying. I especially understood when he said, ‘our Christian experience should not stop at our salvation because there are times we run dry and feel disconnected from God and can’t even pray’. I understood that perfectly, because for a while now, I have being disconnected from my Lord. I can’t remember the last time I had my quiet time in the mornings. I used to enjoy that so much every morning because I wake so early to get in His presence. I don’t even know how I got here. I can’t even say a simple prayer. I find lately that sometimes, I try to seek help from God, and I feel really guilty because I know I have broken our communication and I feel I don’t deserve His help. Yet He remains faithful and loving and still looks out for me and protects all that are dear to me.

I want to say a prayer, but I only stop with a few words. He knows I need help. I am crying for help. I need to move from this place back to where we were, so I can go deeper in our intimacy. Here I am, packing my load to return to rock city tomorrow, and I saw my bible. It pains me to note that it just occupied space in my bag and I didn’t touch it at all.

Now is not the time to be disconnected. Now is the time when I need You most. A period when too many decisions have to be made in many areas of my life. So I am crying, please help me Lord. With what specifically, I really don’t know, but I know I need help. And the type I need can come from You alone. Holy Spirit my helper, You know ......... and I am grateful and thankful for all You have done recently, and for helping us cross that bridge today ........ but the journey has just started ......... besides I don’t like thinking about issues. It makes me lose weight and you created me slim so ......... I still need help really. Please......

Popular posts from this blog

The Activist by Tanure Ojaide

Interview with Lekan Balogun

Azie, Celebrating Nigeria’s Beauty Through Her Books