Skip to main content

Desperate Housewives (When to Let Go )

As published in the `Desperate Housewives`column. Extra Newspaper.

She had thought about getting a divorce several times. Each time she did, she quickly vetoed the idea for several reasons. It has been three years of marriage and the best she has gotten is her daughter. If Priscilla were older, maybe she would have decided long ago. But her daughter is only two.

Modupe drives a good car and lives in a beautiful house. She works as a secretary in a telecommunications company. She is an elegant lady to behold with a ready smile that attracts people to her. When men meet her for the first time, they are awed by her down to earth attitude. They tell her that her husband is lucky to have snatched her off the market.

Modupe met Larry five years earlier onboard an airplane on her way to Dubai with her friend Pat. They were going on a five day shopping holiday in preparation for Pat’s wedding. He had an aisle seat like Modupe and soon engaged her in a discussion. He asked to be invited to the wedding, saying he could be lucky to meet his future wife there.

Six weeks later, Modupe and Larry were testing the waters. She knew she wanted to get serious with him from the onset, but there were times he seemed uninterested.

Thinking it was because of a lady called Rita whom he once introduced to her, Modupe wanted to know what had happened to her. He said they dated a long time ago and were just friends. Later, it was easier for her to believe because Rita became engaged, married and moved to the UK with her husband.

They dated for two years before Larry asked her to marry him. She wasn’t expecting a proposal because their relationship wasn’t very serious. Larry was neither in it nor out of it. Although he was good to her and provided her with whatever she wanted, the emotional connection was missing. Yet, she agreed to marry him because he was different from all the other guys she had dated. He never promised her what he wouldn’t give. He always stood by his words.

Their marriage ceremony came and went. The first few months were an improvement on their relationship and she believed that Larry had finally taken a turn and she relaxed. She had her baby on their first anniversary. A week later, Larry traveled to the UK for business. The week he returned was the week her marriage ended.

He told her passively that he ran into Rita and was surprised to learn that she was divorced and had returned to the country. She waited for him to say more and he didn’t and she didn’t know what to ask.

The subject of Rita was a difficult one. All he told her about Rita was that they dated. The rest she found out from her sister in-law. Larry and Rita were together for six years. They broke up because her parents refused Larry who was from Edo state. They wanted an Igbo son in-law. It was two years after the break up that Modupe met Larry.

That week turned into months, and it is two years. Now, they live as housemates. He still gives her everything. He adores their daughter, but they don’t live as husband and wife anymore. Larry came home from work one night and said he would sleep in the guest room. It continued the next day until it was constant.

Modupe sat him down one day and asked what she did wrong. Larry apologized. He said he knew he wasn’t being a good husband. He told her that despite what she thought, he did love her. He asked that she be patient with him that he was going through a personal crisis. Having everything doesn’t mean anything to her anymore because her husband wasn’t hers.

She doesn’t know what Larry wants. He hasn’t said he would leave her for Rita. He spoke with Rita once in a while, but Modupe knew he wasn’t having an affair with the lady. Yet. Larry was the type of man who was faithful to a cause. And he went out of his way to let Modupe know about his movement because he did not want her thinking he was secretly seeing Rita.

Yes, she had thought about divorce several times. And each time she did, she quickly vetoed the idea for several reasons. For one thing, Larry was a very good man whose emotions were at pieces. It hurts her to think of it, but he was trying to make it up by making sure she lacks nothing. She had asked him if he wanted to leave her for Rita, he shook his head and said he couldn’t do such to Modupe because she didn’t deserve it. Again he asked that she be patient that what he was trying to do was get over Rita completely.

And there was their daughter to consider. She wouldn’t put her through a divorce. Modupe is hoping that Larry’s demons would be exorcised in time so she can have her husband and marriage back. How long will it take? Will she have to let go?
*Share your story with us. Names and locations will be changed.