Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Tales of the Heart: My Husband Left

I am confused and in a place I have never been before in my life or expected to be in. Everything was well with us. There was no quarrel, no misunderstanding of sorts. Biodun said he was going out for a while and just never came back home. Before you think something might have happened to him, he is fine and alive because I have seen him but he has refused to come back home. He wouldn’t tell me what I did wrong to warrant his actions, and it breaks my heart so much because of the pain he is causing our children.


We have been married only six years. Although our marriage wasn’t exactly a bed of roses, it was good. We fight as every couple do and we settle almost immediately. We loved each other or so I thought. We had good jobs, had a good home and had good plans for the future as well as for our children who started coming just eleven months after we were married.

I had twin boys and my husband was so excited because he always talked about having his sons become world class footballers. Because of the pressure of bringing up twins, we decided not to have another child for a while, so that by the time another one came, the twins would be old enough to even help out in the house.

The trouble today originated from the school our twins attend. Because of the nature of my job, I leave home earlier than my husband, so he is the one who drops the children off at school on his way to work, while the school bus drops them at home after school to be with our day nanny who goes home after I get home from work.

I never had time to attend open days at the twins’ school because of work. My husband said it was no problem for him because his office is actually closer to their school than mine is. Every letter that comes from the school is addressed to my husband since he is the most visible parent between us.

When the twins turned five, we agreed to try for another baby. I was pregnant when my husband was transferred to a different branch, meaning he couldn’t do the school appearances anymore. So it fell on me as using school bus to and fro was actually too expensive for our budget.

Sometimes, when I go to the school for any of their events and make a complaint about what I don’t want for the twins, the proprietress dismisses me and tells me that is how my husband liked it. Or when I scold the twins for doing something wrong, she tells me, my husband wouldn’t like such.

I had to question my husband about her behavior and he laughed that she was just an overzealous woman. A few weeks before our daughter was born and the first two months after, I had to stop dropping the twins at school, so it fell on our nanny. She came home one day and told me my husband was at the school for the children’s school fees and I was surprised because he was supposed to be in the office by that time and besides, their school fees is paid into a bank account.

I called him immediately and he said he wanted to be sure the twins were doing well. It bothered me and I told him when he came home. He assured me everything was alright, and I shouldn’t bug myself. I even suggested changing the school of the twins but he wouldn’t hear of it.

Then early last month, he returned home from work earlier than usual. After having his dinner, he said he wanted to go out for a while and would be back soon. When it was getting late, I called and he wouldn’t pick. I was getting scared something might have happened to him when he sent me a text he was alright and would be home the next day. I called again and he refused to pick. I text him and he didn’t reply. The next day, he came home like he said and told me he didn’t want to be married anymore and that I shouldn’t make it difficult for both of us. He went into the bedroom, took some of his things, told me we will talk more and left without looking back or thinking of his three children, the youngest of which is almost four months old.

My family and his have been meeting, but no one can comprehend why he would leave his family to live with the owner of the school his children attend; a divorced women with three children. He left his children to go be father to her children. I don’t understand it.


We had no fights. He never stopped professing his love for me till the day he left. I have stopped the twins from schooling there and I am praying, because this is strange and painful. I do want my husband to come back home so we can work out whatever the problem is.

2 comments:

  1. Uzezi, did this really happen to you or you just story telling? If this is your story, all I can say is pray and ask for help with the kids. Sometimes marriage can be overwhelming and it could just be that your husband is seeking some sort of outlet for now. When he's had time to think and refresh I'm sure he'll come back. Ask God for strength and just keep being steadfast.

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