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Oby Bamidele talks about her book 'Me, My Hair and The Rest'

(c) Zayzee Writes

Tell us about yourself.
I am an Authenticity Coach and registered counselor. I help people discover who they really are and overcome emotional and mindset obstacles that stand in the way of them embracing their true self. We tend to wear masks and conform to ideas and perceptions of who we think we should be, to the detriment of our true and genuine selves. The more self-aware and self-accepting we become, the more we thrive and live fulfilled lives.   

I am a Jesus follower; wife and mummy. I was born and lived in Nigeria until I was 15 and moved to the UK, where I reside.

Why did you feel the need to write the book 'Me, My Hair and The Rest'?
‘Me, My Hair and The Rest’ is really about my 10 year journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. I preach and teach what I live.  The book is an autobiographical account of how much value I placed on the external. I lived from the outside in, so to speak. I focused on my external appearance to define my worth, and only then would I dare to feel good about myself. This continued until I experienced what I can only describe as a major crisis moment. All of the details are in the book.

What inspired the title of the book?
The full title is "Me My Hair and the Rest: Learning to Love Myself" because whilst the book tells the story about my relationship with my hair and the journey, it is more than just about hair. I talk about my struggles, my identity, self-image and the essence of who I am. I also share a lot of the banter between me and my husband, who I refer to as "babe" in the book. There is so much humour, jokes and cringe-worthy moments. Be prepared to laugh out loud as you resonate with some of my antics. At the same time there are some difficult experiences which I share candidly in the book. I believe the title is all encompassing.

Would you say your book is achieving its goal?
I believe so. I am big on sharing my story as I believe it helps others to share theirs. Authenticity is a core value of mine and as a counselor, I know that at the heart of a person's identity crisis, materialism, self-obsession and the need to conform is a lack of authenticity. I want to encourage other women to know that there is liberation in taking off the masks we hide behind and be our true selves.

Why is it important for people to address issues of Self-esteem and Self- acceptance?
I think it is important for the reasons I have shared above. Lack of self-esteem and self-acceptance has to do with a shame based fear that we are not good enough as we are. And we try so hard to fit into the ideals set by others, so that we can gain acceptance and approval. But the problem is that when our confidence does not come from within, we leave ourselves open to the whims and fickleness of worldly standards as to what is beautiful, successful and worthy.  If your confidence is based on the estimation of others or because you are approved of others, what happens when that changes? You will do everything within your power to attain the same approval, and the goal post will always keep changing. But when your confidence is from within, you are anchored and assured of your value, which no one can steal.

Do you work with clients via the internet or is it face to face?
I do both. I see clients who live local to me or are prepared to travel to Essex face to face. I have international clients, and offer online counseling and coaching.

What other titles do you have?
My first book is titled "Finding Purpose"

Where can you book/s be found?
Both books can be purchased on Amazon, either as kindle or paperback