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Love is a beautiful thing, but too often, when we’re caught in its spell, we forget to think deeply. We dream, we plan, and we hope. One thing we rarely do is pause to have the conversations that truly matter. What is common today, when we’re planning to get married, is to attend a marriage counselling class to prepare us for the future ahead. But there is so much to cover, and the allocated time for these classes is barely enough. This is why early preparation, even before the conversations about getting married, is important, and this is where this book, Conversations Before I Do, comes in. It is a refreshing, insightful, and deeply practical guide for couples preparing to say “I do.”
As an editor, I
approach every manuscript with a critical eye. I look for coherence, flow, and
structure. And most importantly, especially when it’s a work of nonfiction, I
check for relevance. I’ve worked on many books about marriage and
relationships, but I wasn’t prepared for Conversations Before I Do. From the introduction, the author
went straight to the point in declaring her goal, to help couples intentionally
work towards achieving the best future together.
Now, unlike the usual adjustments most
manuscripts require to achieve clarity, the author’s expression of her thoughts
and ideas was understandable. I found myself impressed, even captivated,
because her writing showed both maturity and relevance. Her writing combined
warmth with wisdom, for someone so young, and if you were told that this book
was written by someone who has been married for many, many years, you would
believe it easily.
What stands out most in Conversations Before I Do is its all-inclusive approach. Maureen explores subjects that form the bedrock of every healthy marriage—from uncovering one’s past and aligning personal values to parenthood, conflict and weathering life storms. Each chapter in this book is important. Each one is a prompt that encourages couples to pause, reflect, and engage in honest dialogue before committing to forever.
The book opens with “The Beginning of a Beautiful Journey.” Here, the author encourages couples to reflect on the early moments of their relationship and identify the attraction that drew them together. Maureen also guides readers through conversations about “Shared Values and Beliefs,” singling out religion and spirituality, culture and tradition. The author stresses that having opposing values tends to create friction in the family. In the chapter about “Family Dynamics,” the author helps couples to understand the importance of knowing and sharing each other’s family background because nature and nurture play a vital role in the success of marriages.
Also, the three areas that marriage counsellors usually say are the bedrock of a successful home were covered in this book. They are finance, romance/intimacy and communication. Maureen did not only depend on her experience when writing about these topics. She brought in expert opinion to give credence to her words.
Her writing is simple yet profound, her tone compassionate and firm. She doesn’t dictate what a relationship should look like. Instead, she provides the questions and wisdom that help each couple find their own path. She also uses her lived experiences and those she gathered from her research to further explain what each topic is trying to communicate, and this is important in building trust between the author and the reader because she is not just saying something she hasn’t practised.
This book also balances practicality and hope. The author does not romanticise marriage; she acknowledges from the beginning that love, while powerful, is not enough to achieve a successful relationship, which is why she invites readers to build on love with understanding, communication, and intentional growth. In doing so, she transforms what could have been a mere “pre-marital checklist” into a manual for lifelong partnership.
I must also include that providing an activity workbook along with the main book shows how the author is gently but firmly guiding couples to be intentional in putting in the necessary work to ensure building a successful future together.
Despite the title, Conversations Before I Do is not only for those preparing to get married. It can also be a useful compass for couples who have been married to navigate, set new goals and work towards achieving them. This book will help people in relationships see clearly the beauty and the responsibility of choosing a life partner.
Working on this book, I had two roles. One as an editor and the second as a reader, someone in a committed relationship. I have been married for 15 years, and I can confirm that the topics covered in this book are relevant for achieving success in our homes and relationships.
So, before you say “I do,” talk—really talk. Because the conversations you have today can shape the marriage you’ll have tomorrow. And this is basically the message the author is trying to convey.